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How does hand holding, flirty notes, selfies, and a quick 2-second caress keep that sparkly feeling alive? Try them a few times and embrace the benefits.
I will never forget what an older cousin told me some 39 years ago. She was happily married to the man she would love till the day he died. It was during one of the Brooklyn block parties our street had yearly. She met my boyfriend Joe (now my hubby) that day. She took me to the side and said “If you marry him, you have to keep your husband always thinking about you, so make sure you look beautiful when your husband returns from work.” It was 1983, she was 16 years older than me (37), and every adult woman I knew dressed and acted very similar, except our neighbor, Corrine, who had 4 boys. I looked at my cousin and answered “Okay, okay Barbara.” What was she thinking, I wasn’t living in an episode of Father Knows Best. I was in college, going to conquer the world, I loved pony-tails and my Jordache jeans…which by the way made you look good anyway.
Fast forward to today and her words still resonate in my head. That one statement influenced me throughout my marriage, and continues to keep the spark alive. I am a true believer that just doing a few things, not just looking beautiful every day for my hubby (sweats and t-shirts that match are a big fashion staple for my home attire) are what keeps the spark alive. Even through the kiddie years, when it’s all about those little peeps you so love and you only have so much time for each other.
Now before you label me an anti-feminist, I am proud to be somewhat old fashioned and will continue to be so. Also please understand that when I look good, I feel good. Even at my ripe young age, It helps with my confidence in everything I do. Moreover, what occurred to me the past few years, is I have subtly influenced my friends and cousins with my suggestions and actions. My younger cousins laugh and say “She’s texting Joe.” Some of my friends look at me and just shake their heads and others say “Yep, I’m not doing that.” Just recently one of my cousins told me “I just pulled a Felicia!”
Below I offer up my fun list of flirting suggestions to you. Try one or two of these actions and you might find yourself repeating them. Just be ready for the response from your hubby. It’s going to make you smile more and make you feel real good about yourself, no matter what age you are. But most important - Have Fun!
Flirt Away!
1. A Small Caress
It's so obvious, and so simple how a little caress makes someone happy and gets their attention. Just a 2-second massage of his neck, a couple of taps on the shoulder with a flirty smile, a quick kiss on the cheek or one I do…the "toe-to-toe” (even with your heavy socks) while lying on the couch for just a second or two. Simple and effective and will truly get him to smile or even say ”Come here.”
2. Meet Him In the Garage Or Outside When it's Dark
Just the fact that you’re searching him out when he's taking care of garage organizing, taking out the trash or even getting out of the car will get him excited. Your hubby might just stop and glance you a very nice look when you say “Wait a minute” then continue with “I just wanted to say hi.” Then quickly walk away.
3. Check Out His Butt:
Remember Parenthood? I adopted this move from this movie: Steve Martin is walking away from his wife and she’s checking out his butt. Funny because whenever I do this I let my hubby know exactly what I’m doing. Then the sexy moves are projected back at me. What a fun way to stay connected.
4. Flirty Notes Everywhere
This is such an easy thing to do. A quick note saying “Hi, love you, have a nice day” goes far. My flirty notes segued from the morning wake-up calls I would make to my hubby when we were dating. I’d ring his phone (a land line) and say “Hi …good morning” and then hang up. As years went on, after we were married, I would leave sporadic flirty messages around the house and in his car. I even did the lipstick thing on the bathroom mirror. Today it's a note here and there, especially when he's on a call. Then he can't focus, smiles a bit and waves me off. Bingo! Got him.
5. Same Photo Pose...Always
Yep, this is the one, that your kids will always comment about “Mom, you and dad always do the same pose, can’t you try a new one?” Just the fact that you're both putting your heads together and posing for a selfie or photo (there's always someone around you can ask to take the photo) brings on the flirtation. You either pucker up, smile at each other, or just look ahead knowing you just added to your collection of togetherness that keeps the spark going.
6. Text A Selfie
A silly or slightly sexy picture with top notch class, not an extreme full commando thing, will guarantee a response. Send it to him when you’re out and about or across the room at a function. I send my hubby one whenever I’m out with gals. It let’s him know he’s on your mind. Then back to fun with the gals.
7. Sexy Books Equal Sexy Time
Oh my this is one I have just started rekindling. Read a good Christine Feehan Carpathian novel, or another paperback that gets you really thinking. Once you read one, or even listen to the audio book something magical happens and your hubby will take notice. Then watch how quickly he'll order the whole series for you overnight. Enough said.
8. Tell Him He looks Good
Who doesn’t love a compliment? We all do! So give him a compliment and boost his ego for the rest of his day. Just a little “Hey, I haven’t seen you in that shirt for a while…nice!” will be reciprocated sooner than you think. My go to is "You used gel today, your hair looks great." If your hubby sports the Vin Diesel look well... there are lots of great comments for him.
9. Hold Hands
Remember when you couldn’t wait to hold your hubby’s hand. Guess what…it’s’ still the same hand and it still feels good when both of you express to not just each other, but to others, you're together. So go ahead, grab his hand and enjoy that feel-good intimacy, even when in public. By the way did you know there are different ways to hold hands? I enjoy a few of them myself.
Flirting shouldn't be retired because we have kids, taking care of an elderly family member, work long hours, or getting older ourselves. Sometimes all we need is a little something to keep that spark going, if only for a fleeting moment. Think of the smile you put on your hubby's face and remember that smiling is always contagious. Also, it helps when you're about to ask him to make a hard confirm on a trip you've been talking about.
I offered up my suggestions because they are fun and sometimes just one little extra flirtatious idea might lead to your own. And now, you've seen a few of my "Same Together Photo" style. What about you? Care to share your favorite way to flirt with your hubby? I'm up to learn a new move😊